Friday, May 18, 2012

Placing Stock in the Value of My Life

Two of my favorite books are Under the Tuscan Sun by Frances Mayes and Peter Walsh’s It’s All Too Much: An Easy Plan For Living a Richer Life with Less Stuff.  Both books offer insight into how the physical messes in our lives are in direct relation to our psychological messes and vice versa.  Truth is, I am actually a neat freak.  Extremely organized.  Not a single belt or book out of place in the closet or on the shelf.   My problem is that I can’t seem to let go of any of those things due to thinking I might need it later (I know there are many people out there who are the same exact way.)  I also attach emotion to materialistic things.  It is because of the extreme case of this behavior that TV shows like “Hoarders” exist and Peter Walsh can continue writing books about this issue. 

Due to Facebook, we now hoard “friends” as well.  Even the ones we don’t really know or like anymore.  Why do we meet someone once and think we need him or her in our lives when the people we have known for years we don’t even see or talk to…and they live down the street?

FB stock is available for sale today and it really made me want to take stock in the value I have invested in my own life.  Do I really need all this stuff from my past?  Do I want to collect friends I never see or spend time with?

Don’t get me wrong.  Sharing things with people is fine, (I mean that is the purpose of this blog and my FB & Twitter pages.)  The problem I am referring to is when we have an expectation of something or someone becoming more than what it is.  Holding on to the worn out interview shoes I have had for 12 years is not going to help get me a job.  Staying “friends” on FB with that guy I hooked up with isn’t going to get him to suddenly apologize for not being the man I wanted him to be.  And saving a book signed by an author I am not even a fan of? Jeez, let it go!

Like Frances Mayes, I am looking for a fresh start with my new life.  Granted I don’t have the money to move to Italy, but I can start cleaning up the house in my head.  It is hard enough to try to make the necessary changes in yourself, so I certainly don’t need the casual FB reminders that you didn’t invite me to your wedding or that you are sitting on the beach down the block and didn’t think of me.  It’s actually okay with me that I am not a priority in your life anymore, but I am very much a priority in mine.

So from now on, if something or someone in my life doesn’t have a genuine purpose that applies to the person I am today, I’m getting rid of it.  And if you don’t “Like” that, go buy stock in someone who cares.

Renovating my bedroom from NYC apt circa 2003 (all black & red) to
2012 beach theme (blue & white.) I carried this bench 8 blocks in NYC &
it still has a purpose today, proving a great foundation can withstand life's many phases!
I collect seashells I find on the beach, not friends.
My friends need to do more than look pretty for me to find them valuable.
For 12 years, these shoes have taken me on a ton of adventures, (including hundreds of job interviews.)
I am retiring them to the trash along with the baggage of my past.